Every weekend at our house we set aside time to do some household chores. There are chores for me, my wife and my kids. Everybody helps. Chores teach the kids about responsibility. We do it together and try to make it fun by racing and doing chores in new and creative ways.
Sounds great! But there is one problem. I DON”T LIKE CHORES! So this weekend I happened to suddenly have Back Pain. OUCH! I could hardly move. All I could do is lay in bed and eat munchies while watching TV. No Chores.
Hmmm. This sounds like a new list…
7 Ways to Avoid Household Chores
1. Fake Back Pain
This is one medical problem that is difficult for even Medical Doctors to diagnose. The best remedy is lots of rest with periodic light movement (walking to refill your bowl with munchies). Housework of any kind is forbidden.
2. Work Calls
The phone rings. It is your boss (actually, it is you buddy at the Top 7, pretending to be your boss). He says he needs you to come to work (the local coffee shop / sports bar) to discuss an important matter (who do you think will win that evenings hockey / football / basketball event).
3. Surprise Family Time
Prior to the Weekend, book a time away from home for a Family Weekend. Then, surprise the family with the good news. If you are not home, you cannot do chores. Good news: No Chores. Bad News: Chores will wait.
4. Poor Performance
The next time you are asked to do laundry, make sure to mess it up. Dry the knit sweaters on High so they shrink. Throw your red Calgary Flames Jersey in with a load of whites. These actions will lead to you being forbidden to help with laundry again.
5. Old Friend Is In Town
Same as 2. These rare visits are important.
6. Work Slowly
If you work slow enough, somebody will feel bad watching you work and will eventually help you finish your task… maybe.
7. Transfer Your Tasks To Your Kids
Kids want to earn money and need to learn the rewards of physical labour. Unfortunately, my kids know this list well and can execute it flawlessly.
So tell us, how do you get out of chores?
*Disclaimer: If my wife reads this, my brother is the author 😉