In case you did not know, Jeff and I are not the most sophisticated people on the planet.

How were we supposed to know that Denny’s was not a fancy restaurant?

I guess that is what happens when you live in small town Alberta, Canada.

It really is not that bad but I will tell you this, we have no desire to watch the Royal Wedding.  In fact we are getting a little sick of hearing about Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Our list for you today is all about the Royal Wedding and our way to make light of a really big event.

Here is our guide to the Royal Wedding.

1.  Don’t Stress about the time.

You will be comforted to know that the Royal Wedding will take place on April 29 at 11:00 AM and run until 12:12 PM.  Now I know what you are thinking, “This is going to get in the way of a nice lunch!”

Don’t worry, that is the time in London.  By the time we get up on Friday morning the wedding will be over.  It starts at 4:00 AM MST.  This event is not in conflict with anything I have planned.

2.  Do some number crunching

Apparently this wedding is going to cost about $34 million.  Glad Kate is not my daughter.  You can see the breakdown here.

Now, how would you spend $34 million?

3.  No Meal?

I heard via the grape vine that there will be no meal served at this wedding, only appetizers.

Champagne, canapés, and heavy hors d’oeuvres, such as smoked salmon, paté, and mini sausage rolls.  Throw in some petit fours, mini éclairs, trifle, and chocolate and lemon mousse,  Now that is a fancy spread.

Here is what we need to do.  Take note of the bite sized menu and try to serve it at your next Superbowl Party.  Guarantee to be the best party your friends have ever been to.

4.  History says ….  sign the pre-nuptial

You do not have to look too far into the family history to see that divorce often follows a Royal marriage.  Just ask Prince Charles and Princess Diana or Prince Andrew and Fergie.

Will Prince William and Kate will be the first royal couple to sign a pre-nup?

5.  The guest list?

It seems that anyone who is anyone got an invitation to this wedding.

The crown prince of Abu Dhabi, the sultan of Brunei, the emperor of Japan, and kings of Malaysia, Tonga, and Thailand all received an invitation.  Even Kanye West and a few homeless guys that Prince William befriended were invited.  Everyone got an invitation.

Everyone except President Obama.

6.  Movie in the making

It seems the life and times of Prince William and Kate is really, really exciting.  It is so exciting that there are already plans to make their 9 years together into a movie.

Excuse me?

The scary thing is that people will be purchasing and watching this movie.  I am pretty sure the story of (insert your name here) would be more exciting.

7.  No need for a GPS

We have the map the couple will use to navigate from the Westminster Abbey to Buckingham Palace.   This is good for them and also good for you.  Now you can find just the right location to take some pictures.

All in all, we do wish the couple a happy life together.  Enjoy the wedding.

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About thetop7

Seven is the Perfect Number

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